My Parents Need to Downsize. Who Can Help Us?

Start with your parents, not the house. Ask what they want the next chapter to look like, what worries them, and what they are not ready to talk about yet. If that first talk feels hard, this guide on how to talk to your parents about selling their house may help.

I'm Jeanette Nelson, a REALTOR® with Jeanette Nelson Real Estate, Keller Williams Realty, serving Orange County, Huntington Beach, Costa Mesa, Fountain Valley, and surrounding areas. I help adult children and their parents plan a downsizing move from the first conversation to the last box, so no one in your family is carrying it alone.

Each person has one clear job. When everyone knows their lane, your family stops being the project manager.

• Your family. You help your parents decide, and you agree on who speaks for the family.
• Your parents' doctor or care team. They are the right people to help answer "is it time?" and what kind of home or support fits your parents' health now and later.
• The listing agent. Prices and prepares the home, markets it, negotiates the sale, and, with the right agent, keeps the whole calendar so the move and the sale line up.
• A senior move manager. The National Association of Senior and Specialty Move Managers describes this work as helping older adults and families with downsizing, relocation or simplifying their homes. That can include sorting, arranging sales and donations, overseeing packing and movers, and setting up the new home. You can read more in what a senior move manager does.
• An estate sale company. Sells the furniture and belongings that are not making the move, usually after the family has taken what it wants.
• Movers. Pack and move only what fits the new home. A floor plan of the new place makes this much easier.
• An estate planning attorney. Answers questions about the trust, the deed, powers of attorney and who has authority to sign.
• A CPA. Answers the tax side of the sale. For example, the IRS allows many owners to exclude up to $250,000 of gain, or $500,000 on a joint return, if they meet the ownership and use rules. Whether that applies to your parents is a question for their CPA.

In a downsizing move, the sale is only one part of the plan. Through my Transition Planning Program, I listen first. Then I build a written plan and timeline with your family, and I personally coordinate the staging, the movers, the estate sale and any contractors the home needs.

I work with local estate sale companies and senior move managers I know and trust.

Every family is different, yet the order often looks like this:

1. Talk with your parents about their goals and their worries.
2. Talk with their doctor or care team about health, safety and timing.
3. Choose the next home or community, so you know how much space there will be.
4. Meet with the attorney and CPA about title, the trust and taxes.
5. Build the written plan and timeline with the listing agent.
6. Sort and decide what goes, what goes to family, and what is sold or donated. This guide on what to do with 40 years of belongings can help.
7. Move your parents into the new home first when possible.
8. Hold the estate sale, then prepare and list the home.
9. Close the sale and settle the final details.

Some families need to sell before buying, or buy first. If that is your family, read what to plan for if you sell before you buy, what you need in place to buy before you sell, or which to do first when the sale pays for the next home.

That is very common. It changes the order, since showings, staging and the estate sale have to work around your parents' daily life. This guide on selling your parents' house while they still live in it walks through it.

Yes. The Orange County Office on Aging runs an Information and Assistance Call Center for older adults at (714) 480-6450. It is a helpful first call when you are not sure what services exist.

If your family is facing this move, I'd love to sit down with you and your parents for a private planning conversation. We'll talk about their goals and map out who does what, at a pace that feels right. Call or text me at 714.366.8575 | DRE: 01397168, or contact me. Jeanette Nelson is a REALTOR® with Jeanette Nelson Real Estate, Keller Williams Realty, serving Orange County, Huntington Beach, Costa Mesa, Fountain Valley, and surrounding areas.